The identity crisis.

Isolated for blaspheming against the god of the fundamentalist rather than helping people making their faith stronger from a lower church point of view, a view which the people of the lower church in Pakistan also fail to realize. I would like to thank the conservatives from the days of golden age of Islam for excluding 'ijtihad' (reform) and making their values the law for successive generations. (Pretty much like Evangelical Christians are likely to label Christ a hippie and a wuss.)

Had things been different, there wouldn't have been far less discrimination against women, ethnic minorities and most importantly people who are abnormal to well over 90% people in Pakistan, yes. The homosexuals.

At this stage of my life, sometime ago. I thought i have actualized myself enough that i can influence the society's future sufficiently by merely being myself but when reality touched me with it's cold feet on my warm back, i realized i'm in a big bowl of crap. Now, i feel helpless and everyday is the same, moreover i crave inspiration.

Considering recent events in the previous. I really imaging Hitch to be playing word games and talking about what really happened with god.

The blog entry's title is simple and the first paragraph is a testament to it. "My doggerel language portrays my going zigzag" but in the end of the day one thing is for sure, this crap, i'm certainly not the only one. People who like to pose between two girl friends of theirs for a Facebook display picture are also putting 'niqab' on their crap and leading normals days offline trying to find who they are, just like me. Another thanks to the conservatives from the golden age of Islam.

Thank you for listening to me in my crisis. Pakistan se zinda bhaag. Pakistan Paindabaad.

"Like a genius kid who used to ask while pointing towards the furniture parts 'ye kon ai?', like a kid who likes to walk backwards in a running train."

And finally, i repeat "The fundamental cause of trouble in the world today is that the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt. - Bertrand Russell."

Mistake.

When you're losing ground on every front and a battle is going on inside your head, you need someone's shoulder to cry on and you need someone's ears to hear you out and You can't find anyone, when you have a helpless soul who is instinctively there for you when you need someone and that choice does not ring you. It's your own mistake.

- A philosopher whose veins are like particles.

ARE WE TERRORISTS?!?!?! (from Rohri, ma niggah!)

In this world of conflict perceived by some as the conflict between barbarianism and freedom, between irrationality and Science, between Muslim and a Jew or a Muslim and a Hindu or a Muslim and Christian. Now regardless of these perceived conflicts by the people of the world we can all unanimously agree that is not the case. But with all these perceptions, my confused identity asks itself, Are we terrorists?

Terrorism. What is terrorism? Terrorism is a systematic use of terror, specially in a means of coercion. Internationally, there is no universally agreement on the definition of terrorism. So i would like to look at my own country and ask myself this question. Well, if one thinks about it the whole world asks this question about us, where did we go wrong then? Don’t we desire peace, need it and or want it? Are we not creatures of emotions just like people in the rest of the world? And if not just that. Are all victims of terror are victimized by our people and or our own only? No, they’re not. We just like the rest of the world have our fair share of peaceful portions in the population. But there is no denying that Pakistan which was once known for it’s cricketing brilliance, it’s rich cultural history, it’s rivers and it’s cuisine is now known as an unsafe place and known for bomb-blasts.

In very simple words, it’s a small portion of the Pakistani population that is radicalized and follows a very Orthodox version of Religion, that too in their own form of perception of it and under such circumstance there is an identity crisis in our masses and they fail to understand that there are not two poles in this conflict i.e the foreign forces and the group that these forces call terrorists, there is more to this conflict there are more parallels to it than most us actually think. There are events, there causes and consequence to begin with...

There is corruption in this country. Tax evasion is rampant in the business community. All sorts of methods are used which are unacceptable to make money. State owned enterprises and other similar institutions are not functioning properly. On a smaller scale of things, not even a traffic signal is respected let alone other laws of the land and no law establishment agency stresses on implementing the laws which can bring change for the better. but having indulged in these details of the events, i would like to talk about their causes and consequences. It’s a vicious cycle, as one profits from the methods of corruption other loses his/her chances of social mobility or stability. On a broader scale, the rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer because of lack of regulation and the consequence of this is terror which turns out to be the cause of corruption.

Coming back to how the world looks at us. I would like to point out the fact that these problems are faced not solely by us but the lines globally between whats legal and illegal are blurred. But for us, events of terror have become an identity on a global scale. But that does not mean that there will be no end to it because our state is in doubt. An identity crisis, if these things are the things that we are identified with then along with them we are also identified by our cultural identity. And both do and do not go hand in hand. Bomb blasts do not faze the operation of the machine of this country. Despite the terror, we don’t do anything involuntarily and ourselves are

in an internal conflict against it. Which is another factor to the whole scenario.

Having to analyze all the scenarios and the situations that i could, i conclude that no. We are not terrorists. Confused yes. But we are far from terrorists, Yes we have other problems than terrorism but we’re not in them alone. Other states face them too. In our daily lives each and everyone of us. Weather from the establishment or the masses is keen on focusing on his survival needs than his ideological wants and that can be both a great and a sad reality of our lives and our state but it surely proves that we are indeed not the terrorists.

I don't know what to say.

I don't know what to say. The state of Pakistan has cracked a portion of the nation which contains my tiny house. The rivers are running dry and tears are the sole support. Overshadowed by the blood's supply their demand has dried. In my golden age i never thought i'd see this day. But just like the late great Randy "The macho man" Savage used to say "... And the beat goes on." I have to admit the distrust in the society brought the best of me.

I don't know what to say. There are some people who in their daily lives are oppressed by their leaders and they would criticize them for the corrupt oppression, but then fail to prove themselves deserving of the right to criticize in the first place, they want all that their top brass owns for themselves and can care less about preaching the greatness of selflessness and righteousness to the illiterate less fortunate just because it takes time. These people deserve their leaders because they themselves are just as shallow and characterless.

I don't know what to say. I'm addicted to my drug and just because of all the insurgencies going on in North Waziristan and the rest of Pakistan, it's prices are rising. I'm in a sad state. Priceless scores. Damn, i can't pay priceless. So i seek refuge and surrender myself to technology. Only to hear that technology is sick of my craving, an itsy bit. I can't believe that technology is now thinking about what i say through a different way a very frightening way, considering how far i have progressed with technology. I'm afraid and my intelligence reports are fearing the worse to happen.

I don't know what to say. A great person once told me that money does not matter, all that counts are the people around you. It touched me. I heard this coming to me when the most important person in my life was towards either death or a path to a new life, i had literally lost my life. But my life came back to me, Unconscious with anesthesia while coughing, trying to relax itself while going into the intensive care unit. The glow on my life's unconscious face was priceless and from their what i had heard from the great person changed my life, but i think to myself are your extended ones worth it? I look to myself and think "NO!" not all the time but when someone looks up to you and changes your life even in sheer helplessness, it demands a "NO!" with more examination marks.

I don't know what to say. I'm aging and i'm getting lazier and lazier. Dark times in the nurturing process. Life's hopes are busy but i'm lazy and jobless. A perfect place for the devil to play his games.

Too bad, i think all i can do is make the 3rd sheesha of the day.

-The people i talk about and mentioned are my loved ones. I owe a lot to them, A LOT.

Being free and friendly.

As we're heading towards a gradual improvement in the foreign relations department after the tragic Mumbai attacks by the non-state actors. There has been some lip servicing going on in the UNOSC (United Nations Organisation Security Council) regarding 1 G4 member's permanent entry into the UNOSC, India. To which some ultra nationalist dimwits across the border are indulging in.

As we look into the History of the Security Council when the league of Nations turned into UN, the permanent members were the victors of WW2. Now, Both India and Pakistan can be morally victors of the second world war as well considering the amount of man power that the Indian Sub-continent provided the British (My own ancestors fought in that war). But that's not the whole case anymore, not even the right justification to be the part of the SC permanently. India's permanent entry into the UNOSC will be a challenge to the writ of the International Law and all in all it's very importance. You see, all the members of permanent members of UNOSC had acquired Nuclear weapons. Hence Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty was imposed which meant no state would acquire nuclear weapons or disarm as much as it can from it's Nuclear arsenal. India, Pakistan and Israel, never signed. Hence all these countries made Nuclear weapons or have their own nuclear program. The fuss about Iranian and North Korean nuclear weapons is going on because North Korea was a signatory to the treaty (later withrew) and Iran is still a signatory, hence it's facing sanctions.

Having said that, apart from not following main Tenants on the UN. Pakistan will lobby against such a step and China for one, would never like to share power with India and it's obvious, Pakistan lobbying against such a step would obviously force China to veto it. Moreover, Pakistan is considered by China. A counterweight to India.

The reason why USA and Other in the UNOSC are lip servicing India is because of it's huge market size. Even one 1% there is equal to around 10million people. The developed world wants to Liberalize the protectionist policies of the Indian government so it can export there.

However, a prosperous India is good for the region in the long run but such a step right now should not be India's concern. India should rather focus more on Welfare and developing poor states like UP and Bihar to catch up with other states should be their goal, if they succeed. A permanent seat in UNOSC may just come up on it's own.

But only focusing more on Economic Growth might not help. Increasing relations with it's militarily strong and with many economical prospects neighboring Pakistan will improve it's chances even more. Having said that i strongly believe that ending the peace process with Pakistan was a wrong decision by India in the long run. Firstly, it's not very easy in increasing relations when the most of the citizens are hell-bent on nuking each other. Which takes us to my second reason, before the abolition of the peace process by India over the action of Pakistani non-state actors. Absolute success was taking place. Never before trade was crossing billion dollar mark. Never before were the two countries working towards SAFTA. Never before were the two countries serious in resolving Kashmir like this.

But, India is not solely responsible for this. Pakistan's political instability itself has caused a lot of problems in the relations between the two countries. It is really a risk taking insurance for India, if it has to be, it's uncertain for Pakistan to know if they will ever see a General Zia. again or not. The fundamentalists in Pakistan have created and now are condoning the challenging elements of the Indian Establishment in the Indian Kashmir side, the instability in Kashmir. The use of Military and Civil Mob craze is not helping in anyway. Still the actions taken by India in no way solved the problems, rather made them even worse. Going on the blaming road is really easy. Both the sides can be blamed for infiltrating and be held responsible for funding groups which cause the instability in the regions of the two countries.

It's like, we do not know. Who came first? The egg or the chicken? As long as there will be no trust such things will continue and if such things will continue there will be no trust and then again, no matter how much one denies. The problem will always lie in Religion. It's the religious right in both the countries which is causing the problems. Positive and friendly relations between the two countries can be really useful for both the countries in the long run. There are little or no differences.

Blank.

There is so much inside this devilish liar to explain to you that he has lost the words.

Comrade let me introduce you to the Russian and the German. Both have a beer in their right hand and a pistol on their left.

In Britain during the 80's only 5% of the architects were women and 12% of the Full-time lecturers of Britain were women, God save the Queen.

I'm going to put this into you. My professor was the only decent woman i knew until i saw her in the bath tub with University's Janitor. The next day. We were in the bed and i couldn't pull out because she locked me tight with her legs and arms. We never saw each other.

When i was 12 i was sexually abused by my dad's friend's wife. Cuckoo! was the husband. As she lied herself on his back for me to feel her while her husband laughed.

My parents really don't like each other sometimes. Once i beat the hell outta my dad for slapping my mother. I loved it.

My sister really loves my girlfriend and that's why i'm not talking to her. I'm way too jealous.

My neighbor wants to get laid with me but i want to show her my Inbox, of my cell phone.

I'm a victim of Chronic Masturbation. Yes, i'm terminal. I have few years to live.

The Martial Race theory in Pakistan Studies of Federal Board has influenced my Girlfriend a lot.

The next time i go to a mosque would be without wearing underpants. I feel happy after shifting to Florida.

Mein Engel.

High Blood Pressure.

Sometimes i think why be polite at all? Then i think it's me whose at fault.

My conscience is killing me from inside, i feel more helpless than a sexual assault victim. That competition. The secret, this and that. Someone was mean to someone and sometimes too much Introspection is bad too. Once again in this struggle for greatness i'm the lone, nearly fallen soldier. I'm a criminal to say the least and maybe the price of my crimes, someone else will pay. Which is a punishment for me because i want to see that someone happy and a shocker wouldn't be healthy. I'm so much concerned that i can't even focus on my studies everything thing seems falling yet so great

My brain is occupied yet it feels empty, they say changes are good. But this change is a disaster. Wish the dungeon comes back to life.

Paisa bolta hai. (The typical mentality of south asians)

A rare cheap underrated comedy from Pakistan, to prove my point that we prefer money over country. This video sadly, portrays the reality and the root of all our problems.

Tuition Center

A place where few people intellectually bright in their own field spend time making money and telling their clients how to make it.

Where girls dress suggestively and complain (in their minds) why am i being stared?

Where i keep on trying to adjust.

Where dating is a new trend, where everyone shows off and tries to look extra cool by their knowledge in one of the world's most silliest ideologies.

Where people would interrupt a discussion and change the topic and think they're cool.

Where some some teacher would be rude to boys and be epicly nice to girls

Well, i am a private candidate and this place is not something new to me, but i STILL even to this point do not understand why some motherfucking rich kid comes here who is already in one of the finest school of the city(or nation for that matter) is wasting 5 hours of his day here, or some college dude who has at least 8 to 10 A(90% - 95%) grades to his name? I believe this tuition system itself is homosexual and homosexuals are GAY. (duh) This system is spoiling the students by giving them extra help which in the end makes them a loser, they can't solve shit on their own, when i used to be able to study on my own, i had an edge over my counterparts, but now i am too dull to get that old Nayab back, but then again. Our schools don't hire much qualified teachers themselves.

Well, i like to stare at girls as if i am some pervert 40 year old bald man or a wolf as my wife calls it. I like the presence of fear in their eyes. They are scared too such extent that they would get a glass of water for me, if i told them to.

I don't like this system but as a private candidate i have no other choice when it comes to guidance. Lets see how 15000 a month pays off.

November awaits.